dude i'm inner monologue high
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
