anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
