her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
