Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
