Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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