Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
