why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
