She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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