yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
