I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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