I puked a lego.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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