3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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