summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
