are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
