I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
