The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i would punch a child for taco bell
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
