I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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