A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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