did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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