Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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