she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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