adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
