I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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