You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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