Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
