as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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