And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
