Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
