Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
