Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
