maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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