I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
