MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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