i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
