I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
