Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize