Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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