I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Please, let me fuck your mom
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
