whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
