i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
