just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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