But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
