Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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