hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
