i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
