And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
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You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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