You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
