Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize