I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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