my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
