i just wanna soil my oats bro
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize