I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
