Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
