i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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