I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
