They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
