Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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