do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
