Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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(404): View more from Georgia

In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.

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(407): View more from Florida

I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.

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(410): View more from Maryland

as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.

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(260): View more from Indiana

You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?

(1-260): View more from Indiana

It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...

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