I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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